Unintentionally ended up walking past the place of our first date and the street corner of our very first kiss, and for the first time during this whole thing, I cried. Not for him, I know he doesn’t deserve my tears. I cried for that feeling of hope and excitement, the unadulterating happiness that comes with a great first date and a great first kiss. The kind that leaves you with a sense of optimism and makes you giddy for days until you see him again.
I cried because of how quickly it all changed, how I’m back to where I started, bitter and alone, wishing on all the stars to have that feeling again, and knowing that all my wishing will never amount to anything.
I cannot express how much of a lightbulb moment it was when I realized people did not have to be unilaterally awful in order for you not to want to be in a relationship with them
Really needed this reminder today, it’s a tough decision to make that needs constant reassurance.